30 Day Challenge – Day 1: A letter to an inanimate object that I hate – Henry the Hoover

Dear Henry d’Hoover,

You’re only a hoover (or a vacuum cleaner but you’re British, so I will stick with hoover) and yet you can make me so angry that I want to explode. Or make you explode. You might remember that time that I yelled and kicked you? It was my secret hope that you would cease to exist in that moment. But you didn’t. Maybe you want me to apologize – I did kick you. I have to say, you can stop waiting, because that isn’t going to happen. You brought it on yourself, Henry, by being a little prick.

Why, Henry? I actually liked you at first! I thought you had such a sweet little smile and cooky eyes that you must be fun to have around. Oh, how wrong a person can be. I know now that your smile isn’t sweet at all but a smug smirk you wear in anticipation of my rage. You know exactly when and how to anger me most, whether it’s by dropping a tube as I’m cramping to reach under a bed or by tripping over your own GODDAMN cord AGAIN.

I mean, really, Henry. It’s an appendix and it’s attached to you, surely you should be able to hump along without falling and rolling over on your side at the very sight of the cord in front of you. It shouldn’t be necessary! I’m almost positive you do it because you’re either lazy or cruel. Or both. And then you dare SMILE UP AT ME and expect me to put you up right, only so you can do it again 10 minutes later.

 

Behold and remember the face of a psycopath. They may look sweet and innocent, but that little smile is a warning. You would be wise to heed it.

 

And why, Henry, why can’t you keep yourself together? Falling apart at the most inopportune moments… It’s like you can just release your limbs at will. Surely it can’t give you that much pleasure to force me to bend over and pick you up and stick you back together countless times every day?

I know we need to maintain a professional relationship you and I, but you’re not making it easy for me here. You’re a sadistic, evil bastard. I can only hope that this letter makes you think twice about the path you’ve chosen and find it in your heart to be a little kinder to the rest of us.

Sincerely,

Your enemy co-worker.

30 Day Disney Challenge – Day 1 and disclaimer

So in my random browsing a couple of days ago I saw a few blogs doing the 30 Day Disney Challenge. Then I found it on tumblr and Facebook, too, and realized it was a thing. I thought: hmm, why not?

It has nothing to do with the general subject and theme of this blog so in that respect it might be a terrible idea, but on the other hand it’s a subject I can talk about and if it gets me writing some stuff, why not? Plus, daily posts.

I thought maybe I’ll try to post a Disney challenge per day and make a seperate post on the same day about something author-y related as well so that the blog doesn’t become some sort of bizarre fansite and everyone forgets about the writing thing.

Oh and just so we’re clear, I have by no means seen all Disney movies ever made. I’ll probably only focus on the animated ones, since I’ve seen a very limited number of the live-action movies.

Anywho, disclaimer taken care of, let’s kick this off!

Day #1: Your favorite character

Oh dear. That’s a tough nut since I have an extreme fondness for a lot of characters. Mostly male, I think, since Disney women are… let’s not go there. Not for this one at least.

Just to list a few of my favorites:

  • Beast in Beauty in the Beast. Not the adrogynous princeling he turns into at the end, the actual Beast. Also, click that link and tell me that poster isn’t gorgeous. I require that poster, framed, on my wall.
  • Aladdin from, well, Aladdin.His character of a boyish dreamer who is a bit of a rascal with a good heart has inspired so many of my roleplaying characters over the years. Probably not just mine, either.
  • Pretty much everyone in Bolt. Well, the animals at least. The nerdy fanboy Hamster, the cat, Bolt himself, and certainly the pigeons… amazing. I love them all.
  • Mulan – hey, a female! She’s still a bit simplistic but she’s by far one of the more complex female characters to my memory. And a lot of us girls can relate to the theme of not feeling like we belong in the frame that soceity expects us to fit into.
  • A bunch of characters again in Tangled.Flynn (who, for me and Boyfriend, will forever be known as Zylvaer. Don’t ask — or do, in the comments!). Maximus, the psychopathic horse. And perhaps most of all for me, Mother Gothel, the villain.

Lots of characters I know and love that I’ve not mentioned. Let’s call this a top 10. More or less.

If I have to pick a favorite I think I have to go with Aladdin. Because… well, I have to choose one and come on, who doesn’t love this face?